At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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