try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
