I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
