So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
operation harelip BJ is a go
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
