Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen