Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm gonna fight the coyote