He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
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The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
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I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!