I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
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I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
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Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.