I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
