They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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