We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
