There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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