Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Randomize