I wanna bring you to show and tell
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
