Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
