He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
