He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
ttyl tear gas
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
