hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Im part way to drunk.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
