So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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