His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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