whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
