AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
