I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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