make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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