eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
