Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
PANTIES FOUND
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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