you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Alive.
So much puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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