Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
