The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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