I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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