I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
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