someone threw a dead crab at me
I want to have your abortion
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Someone came in the potted fern
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
The convent might be a nice break from real life
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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