Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
