My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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