Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
