WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I need a burrito and a hug.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
