Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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