i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Screwed.edu
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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