My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
