I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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