her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
