Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
