Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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