Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
