people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
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its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
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Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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