I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
