Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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