I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Randomize
