I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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