It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
