I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
