i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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