I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
