You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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