You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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