I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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