Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
