The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
