you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
