My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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