You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I want to fling myself into the sun
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
