alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
